


Some Measure of Comfort

by pandorabox82



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-20 05:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8238337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: Bernie's back has gone out once again at work, and Serena offers to help comfort her. She's reluctant to let her, though, not wanting to taint the perfect memories of her first massage from the woman. But Serena is not one to take no for an answer...





	1. Chapter 1

Bernie winced as she rubbed haphazardly at her back, failing to reach the spot that was really giving her trouble. And she knew that if Serena knew she was hurting, she would do something about it in a heartbeat. Well, that is, she would have done something about it, had Bernie not gone and fucked everything all to hell by running off to Kiev and trying to deny the feelings that she had found to be too overwhelming.

Fletch looked up and gave her a concerned look, and Bernie waved him away. "I won't be put off that easily, Bernie. You are not doing well, and I can cover for you for a bit, if you want to take a break."

"I wish that I could, Fletch. I just know that the moment I stop moving, I won't be able to start again, and I'd rather get through this day as soon as I can and then head home to a warm shower."

"Well, just take it a little easier, then, okay? We need you on Keller."

A quick smirk slipped across her lips as she nodded. The very movement twigged the screaming nerves in her back, and she fought to keep a neutral expression on her face as she moved on to her next patient. Still, though, the pain started to almost become unbearable as the day wore on, and finally, finally, Bernie had to admit defeat.

Limping back to her office, Bernie fervently hoped that Serena wasn't there, as she didn't want to explain to the woman why she was in there, close to the of the day, doing absolutely nothing. Heaving a sigh of relief, she collapsed gingerly into the closest chair and closed her eyes as she let her head thump back against the wall. Really, she knew that she shouldn't have strained herself so with that workout, but she had been eager to get some of her frustration over the lack of openness with Serena out of her system.

"If only you weren't such a stupid coward, Wolfe, none of this would have happened. Only took you two days to realize that you had ruined the best thing in your life, and yet you still couldn't swallow your pride enough to admit that you were wrong, could you? You let things fester, and then you lost her. Possibly forever."

The door to the office rattled and she shot up with a start, moaning loudly in pain as she dug her hands into the meat of her thighs in an effort to keep further sounds from escaping her lips. "Oh, I didn't see you in here," Serena said as she paused in the doorway, giving her a concerned look. Bernie went to say something when the woman started to back out the door. "I'll just…"

"No, I won't bother you, I promise. My back is just giving me fits and starts today, and I needed a moment to rest."

"I can massage it for you." There was no real warmth in the offer, and Bernie hated the perfunctoriness of it, missing the friendly inflections that had once colored Serena's voice.

"No, thank you, I'll manage on my own, like I always do." Bernie internally slapped herself for the morose tone in her voice as she struggled to stand up and prove that she was fine without Serena helping her. After all, she wanted to hold onto the memories of that last massage, keep them pristine and tender and dear. If Serena were to touch her now, when there was nothing in her heart for Bernie, that would change the color of her remembrance, and that was the last thing she wanted. Not when she had so few happy memories of them.

It was quite evident to both of them, however, that she would not be able to manage on her own, since Bernie was unable to fully get up from the chair before letting out a long hiss of pain and dropping back down to sit, burying her face in her hands as she struggled to remain calm and collected. "You need to go home."

"I know. Just give me a few minutes and then I'll be out of your hair."

Bernie felt Serena move into the room and brush past her. A small part of her wanted to reach out and grab hold of the fabric of her pants, wanting to soothe herself with something familiar. She knew that would end in disaster, however, so she did nothing more than spread her hands out on her thighs, refusing to look up and see the flat mask that Serena usually put on in her presence these days. In the background, she could hear Serena start to tap away at her keyboard, and slowly, ever so slowly, she started to relax her muscles, hoping that would be enough to get her moving.

"It wouldn't be a hardship for me to help you."

Bernie looked up at the woman through her fringe, and saw that she was gazing at her sadly, as if there was more that she wanted to say, but couldn't. Bernie shook her head carefully. "I'd really rather you didn't."

"Really, Bernie! You're clearly not able to get up and move out of this office to go home in your current state, and I just want to help!" Bernie turned her face up to gaze at Serena, watching as emotion spread across her face, giving it a beautiful cast, and she drew in a short breath. "If I could, I'd make the earth move for you, but I'm not that good!"

They both stared at each other as silence fell over the room. In that moment, Bernie could see her old Serena, the one who still loved and adored her, no matter what stupid stunt she pulled, and so it seemed natural to react as such. "Oh, I think you'd be able to do both quite well, Serena."

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Bernie regretted saying them. Serena's cheeks flamed bright red before she looked at her monitor, as if trying to think of something to say in reply. "I used to believe that you would do the same for me."

"Serena…"

"What, Bernie? What?" For the first time in weeks, the placid façade fell from Serena's face and all thoughts of physical pain fled from Bernie's mind as she found herself staring into Serena's eyes, the sensation of drowning overwhelming her quickly.

"Please, help me."

"All you had to do was ask." A sad smile turned Serena's lips upwards as she stood and made her way over to Bernie's side. Her hand crept out to rest on Bernie's shoulder, and she fought not to move closer to Serena's touch, as she didn't want to spook her. Her thumb ran back and forth hesitantly, catching the edge of her nail on the seam of Bernie's scrub top. "I haven't touched you in so long."

"Too long," she breathed out as Serena stepped behind her, tenderly guiding her to bend down so that she could get to her back. The woman ran her hands down her back, and Bernie tried not to whimper, both from pain and pleasure. "Serena?"

The woman paused as she closed her fingers around the hem of the top. "I want to have as little between my hands and your skin as is decently possible here." There was a note of longing in Serena's voice, and Bernie responded to that as she nodded her agreement. "I'll go as carefully as I can."

"I trust you."

Those words shimmered in the air as Serena gasped. "Oh."

"Yes." Bernie closed her eyes as Serena rolled the top up and off. The thin fabric of her tank top allowed the warmth of Serena's hands to bleed into her skin, and Bernie couldn't help but imagine them at home, in bed, nothing separating their skin. "Your hands are so strong," she whispered as Serena began to work on the contracted muscles, the kinks seeming to unwind beneath her fingertips.

"Yours are stronger. You've always been the stronger of us. I'm just the sentimental fool who moved too fast, and mucked everything up." Her thumb hit a particularly bad spot and Bernie couldn't stop the pained groan that tumbled from her lips. "I'm sorry."

"No, Serena, I'm the one who is sorry. Can, can we start again?"

"And pretend that we never kissed?"

"No. I just want a chance to make things right, to offer your heart some small measure of comfort." Bernie turned her head, hoping that Serena was looking at her. Their eyes met, and Bernie chanced a smile at her. She must have caught Serena off guard, as a wide, open, grin lit up her face, reaching her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Serena's hands paused on her back as she crouched down and studied Bernie's face. "I kissed other people while you were gone. I tried to see if you were right, if I didn't know what I wanted. I threw myself headlong into living, but found that it didn't suit me. I still missed my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes, you blooming idiot, girlfriend. That's the only way to describe you in my head." And then, Serena leaned in and kissed her deeply, bringing her hand up to bury in Bernie's messy blonde hair. It felt so right to lean closer to the woman, to press her lips more forcefully in an effort to feel at one with Serena. "Oh, that is more than enough for right now, Ms. Wolfe. Otherwise we might end up in a compromising position here at work, and we can't have that now, can we?"

Bernie shook her head slowly as her spinning senses came back under her control. "I don't know if I deserve your comfort, Serena."

"Hush, the time for recriminations is over, Bernie." Serene pressed her finger against Bernie's lips, and she couldn't resist kissing it softly. "We've been walking on eggshells for these last two weeks. I don't want to do that any longer, I want you in my life, in my bed. Or is that moving too fast for you? Should I just say that I want supper tonight?"

"Well, seeing as how I'm not really up for anything naughty at the moment, I suppose that we could start with supper."

Serena let out a rush of breath as she nodded. "I think I could be good with that. Though I do have a nice heating pad at home, too."

The quirk in Serena's eyebrow made Bernie laugh aloud. "You are just trying to get me in your bed, I know it."

"Guilty."

"All right, I'll come home with you. As long as you promise to take care of me."

"Deal." Serena patted her cheek tenderly before helping Bernie back into her scrub top. "All right, it's close enough to the end of our shifts where we could duck out a little early and have Ric cover for us."

Bernie sat up and rolled her shoulders, letting out a low sound of relief as she felt some of the pain gone from her back. It wasn't completely fixed, but she knew that that would come with time. "You might have to help me into my coat. I don't know if my arms will work quite so well."

"Berenice! I rather think that you are trying to milk things now," Serena scolded, though the smile never left her lips. Bernie gave her a small shrug and the most innocent look she could muster, hoping that it would still work on Serena. From the slight way she shook her head, Bernie knew that she hadn't lost her touch. "You are incorrigible, I swear."

"That's why you love me."

Again, it seemed like truth was just flowing from her mouth, and she pursed her lips together tightly, suddenly uncertain of how Serena would react. And then, Bernie found that time just seemed to stand still as Serena stepped into her personal space once more, holding onto her arms as she focused on Bernie's face. "Yes. That is why I love you. Or rather, one of myriad reasons why."

The office door rattled once more, but Bernie found that she didn't want to turn and see who was trying to interrupt them. "It's a slow day on Keller Ward, I just popped in to send you both home," Fletch said, and Bernie rolled her eyes a little at Serena, who had to stifle her giggle. "Don't worry, the gossip mill hasn't really started running yet. Though there are going to be a few people who aren't going to be so happy. It's seems you've broken the pool."

"And just why would that make you happy?" Serena asked archly, gazing around Bernie to glare at the younger man.

"Because it means that I've won, and that so rarely happens to me. Have a wonderful evening, ladies."

Serena shook her head as the door closed. "I don't know who is worse. You or him."

"Him, of course. You know you can always get me in line."

"There is that, Ms. Wolfe."

Bernie felt her core clench with desire at that tone, and she bit her lip as she reached out for her coat. "Sometimes, I rather think that you are the incorrigible one."

"I just keep you on your toes," she replied as she guided the sleeves of the coat onto Bernie's arms and smoothed the fabric gently over her back, taking care not to push too hard. Bernie was grateful for the concern, but still found herself craving a firmer touch. "Let's get home."

Home. That word sounded so beautiful coming from Serena's lips, and Bernie nodded, even as tears filled her eyes once more. "Okay." Trustingly, Bernie took hold of Serena's hand, no longer caring who might be watching. Together, they made their way out into the cold evening air, and she shivered, welcoming the way that Serena stepped closer, wrapping her arm around Bernie's waist and offering some of her warmth as they walked.

Bernie climbed into the passenger side of Serena's car, trying to make herself comfortable. As Serena drove, Bernie managed to turn onto her side and watch her girlfriend. It felt weird to label their relationship as such, since everything between them still felt nebulous. "You don't need to watch me, you know."

"But I do. I've not been able to look for so long that I have to make up for lost time."

Serena swallowed thickly, and as Bernie watched, a few tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I've tried to keep all this under control for the last few months. If I let out these feelings, I thought I would become overwhelmed. Now, I just think that I'm drowning. Will you rescue me?"

Bernie knew that Serena was placing a lot of trust in her, by admitting those feelings that she had kept buried in her heart for so long. Reaching out, she cupped the ball of Serena's shoulder, squeezing lightly as she tried to come up with the right words for her Serena. That thought took her aback a little, and she dug her fingers in a little more tightly, watching as Serena winced a little. "Sorry, I don't mean to hurt you. I just had a very earth shaking thought."

"And that would be?" the other woman asked warily.

"That I consider you mine, which means that I will always try to rescue you. I don't know if I'll always be successful, I'm not a deity, after all. But I will try to catch you, should you fall."

Serena took her eyes off the road for one brief moment, love and hope coloring her expression. "Maybe that's all I need." Bernie shook her head, never looking away from Serena. "What?"

"You deserve so much more than just a broken fool like me."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. Hemingway said that the world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are stronger at those broken places. What you've seen in life has made you who you are, and you are exactly what I need to fix my broken places."

Bernie let out a sighing breath as she ran her hand down to the crook of Serena's elbow, settling it there as she continued to drive. Finally, they were pulling into the drive of a beautiful estate, and Bernie felt her eyes widen as she realized this was the place her girlfriend called home. "This is amazing," she breathed out as she gingerly climbed from the car, taking care not to jostle things too much.

"It's just a building."

"But it's the building where you make your home."

Serena shook her head a little, giving her a sweet smile. "No, Bernie. Home is people, the people you feel safe with, the people who you can't live without. Elinor, Jason, you, you're my home. This, this all means nothing compared to that."

Bernie closed her eyes as she smiled and nodded, the domestic picture thoroughly blissful to her. With her eyes closed, she felt Serena come into her bubble and let herself relax as the other woman slipped her arms around her waist, letting her head come to rest on Bernie's chest. This embrace was so right, so perfect, that Bernie had to fight the creeping edge of panic from escaping the dark recesses of her mind. "I love you," she finally murmured against Serena's temple. "And that scares the hell out of me, Ser. There's a part of my mind that's screaming for me to cut my losses and run, now."

"Don't listen to that voice. Listen to mine."

"If only it were that easy, Fraulein. I'm really, awfully, good at running."

"Maybe it's because no one ever gave you a reason to stay." There was defiance in Serena's voice, and that made Bernie chuckle as she nuzzled her cheek the silky strands of her beloved's hair. "You know, I told you, before you fucked off to Kiev, that I didn't want you to go. I said it wrong."

"You did?" Bernie replied as they began to head into the house, both unwilling to let the other go, feeling safe tangled up in each other's arms.

"I did. What I meant to say is that I wanted you, oh so desperately, to stay. There's a difference in those two phrases, even if they essentially mean the same thing."

Jason cleared his throat, and Bernie quickly let go of Serena, not certain how he would take their closeness. "Doctor Bernie! You're here, finally. Auntie Serena has been telling me that there would come a time when I'd see you again."

The indescribable joy that filled Bernie's heart at the knowledge that even while things had been at tenterhooks between them at work, Serena had still known that they would be together in the end caused a bright smile to sweep across her face as she nodded. "Yes. It just took us some time to work out the kinks in my return home."

"And everything between you is all good now? You've told each other that you love each other?"

She turned her head slowly to look at Serena, watching another blush bloom on her cheeks. "Yes. We've told each other that. That was the most important thing, after all."

"Oh, just like in _Moulin Rouge_!" Bernie cocked her head to one side, even as Serena groaned a little. "Have you not seen that movie?"

"No, Jason, I can't say that I have."

"Oh, good, we can watch that, then!"  
Serena let out another groan. "I cannot believe you did this, Berenice!" She turned and gave Serena an inquisitive look. "You'll see." Bernie frowned a little as she watched the woman almost stomp off in the direction of what she assumed was the kitchen, leaving her with Jason.

"Auntie Serena doesn't particularly care for musicals, especially this one. I think that's because it makes her too sad."

Bernie cocked her head to one side, wondering if she could use this to her advantage. The smile that turned Jason's lips upwards gave her some clue that he was thinking the same thing, though for vastly different reasons, she assumed. "Well, is there anything we can do to help Serena out?" she asked, feeling like she had to do something.

"We could get the table ready. That's my usual job at least." Bernie flashed Jason a smile as she nodded, following after him as they joined Serena in the kitchen. "The plates are in the cupboard next to the sink, I'll get out the cutlery."

Serena still seemed to be in a cross mood, however, since she was grumbling under her breath as she buttered slices of bread. "You should pull out the smaller bowls, too, since we're having tomato soup as well."

"Oh, that will be perfect for a cold night like tonight," Bernie said as she opened the cupboard and got out the required plates and bowls. Unable to resist, she stepped closer to Serena, checking her hip a little in an effort to get her out of her funk. She looked at Bernie darkly, however, so Bernie arched an eyebrow before bumping her again.

"Bernie," she replied warningly, and she shrugged before leaning in and placing a quick kiss on Serena's cheek. "None of that now, we have more important things to focus on."

"Yes, Ms. Campbell," Bernie said teasingly as she turned and went over to the table, setting it at the places Jason had already set up. "And what are we going to have to drink?"

"There's a bottle of Shiraz that you can let breathe for the movie, but we normally have water with our meals." Serena waved her hand, and Bernie gazed at the direction she indicated, quickly finding the bottle and opener. While she uncorked the wine, Jason filled glasses with ice and water, setting them into their spots before taking a seat.

"All right, we're ready. Is there anything else I can do to help?"

Serena peeked over her shoulder, giving her a tired smile. "I'm perfectly fine, Bernie. And you need to relax, given the way your back was acting up earlier today. Sit, rest, I'll serve you tonight."

"Fine." Serena rolled her eyes before turning back to the stove, her grumbling more subdued. A smirk crossed Bernie's face as she sank down next to Jason, across from where Serena would be. "So, Jason, tell me about what you've been up to while I was in Kiev."

"Taking care of Auntie Serena, actually. I actually have a list of all the ways that I tried to make her feel better while you were gone. A few of them worked better than others, so they have a star next to them. I'll be right back."

Jason hurriedly left the room, and for the first time, Bernie knew that she had severely underestimated how much her rash decision had hurt her friend. Hopefully, this evening would be the first step in offering Serena her deepest, heartfelt, remorse, and that they really could start afresh.


	2. Chapter 2

 

"No, do not even think about putting away the dishes! Pour our wine and head into the living room with Jason, I'll be there shortly." Serena gave Bernie a wide smile, and she shrugged a little as she stepped into the woman's personal space and kissed her softly. "And that will not cause me to change my mind, either. Go!"

"Yes, Ser," she replied as she grabbed two wine glasses and filled them from the bottle. "Oh, it looks like there's just a little bit left. Should I finish it?"

"Bernie…"

She shrugged a little as she lifted the bottle to her lips, letting the last sip fill her mouth, trying not to swallow. Serena shook her head as she violently shoved a plate into the bottom rack and then stomped over to her side, capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. Bernie swallowed on reflex, and then Serena's tongue was chasing after the taste of wine, swiping around the inside of her mouth, filling her core with desire. "Oh, god, Ser, you can't do that to me," she groaned out when the woman pushed her away to go back to the washer and continue filling it.

"Well, you shouldn't have stolen the last bit of wine. Maybe that will teach you what happens to moochers." Bernie grinned as she shook her head dazedly, picking up the glasses and slowly making her way towards the sound of music that wafted out of the living room. Jason was already sitting in the middle of the couch, and Bernie frowned a little, trying not to be irritated at the thought of being separated from Serena for even the short space of a movie.

Bending down, she placed their glasses on the glass table in front of the couch, and then winced as her hand moved to rub at her lower back. "Are you all right, Doctor Bernie?"

"N-no. I think I may have…"

"Oh, Bernie, not your back again!"

She looked up sheepishly at Serena, giving her as large a nod as she could. "I shouldn't have bent down so quickly. We can still watch the movie, I'll just have to stay here, close to the floor."

"That just won't do at all." Serena turned to look at Jason. "Looks like you have the couch to yourself, dear. I'll be joining Bernie on the floor."

"All right," he replied as he started the DVD. Bernie tried not to gasp deeply as Serena slid down behind her, gently pushing her forward so that she would fit between her and the couch.

"This might hurt, darling, but I'll try to be gentle. The rougher stuff will be for later," Serena whispered in her ear, nipping gently at the shell before running her hands up and down Bernie's back. "All right, I'm going to slip my hands beneath your clothes to work at those kinks. Whatever you do, try to keep your noises to yourself."

"Easier said than done, Serena Campbell. I feel like you're making the earth move already, being so near to me." A husky laugh slipped from Serena's lips as her hands came to rest on Bernie's hips, pressing her forward. Bernie took the hint and rested her forearms on her thighs, giving Serena more room to work.

Slowly, she was lost to the movie, the vibrant colors and sounds filling her senses, even as she tried to prepare herself for what was to come. Serena's fingers worked magic on her back, and Bernie couldn't keep the silly smile off her lips as she listened to the woman lightly sing along to the songs. She had a pleasing voice, and Bernie let herself fall completely under her spell, finding the relaxation just the thing she needed in that moment.

And then the ending came, and she was strangely devastated, even though she had known the outcome from the beginning. Serena's hands stilled on her back, and then she was carefully draping her body against Bernie's, her arms snugly wrapping around her waist as warm tears bled through her shirt. "I hate this movie," she whispered fiercely in Bernie's ear. "It kills my heart every time. We watched it, once, while you were in Kiev."

"Hush! It's almost over!" Serena stifled her watery giggle against Bernie's back, and she chose that moment to let her hands cover Serena's, rubbing her thumb back and forth over the soft skin. The intimate contact seemed to further draw Bernie under the woman's spell, and they sighed in tandem as the credits came to a close. "It's time for bed now."

"Yes, Jason. We'll be along shortly." Bernie turned her head to watch the younger man lope off from the room. "He does best with structure, you know."

"I do. You've beaten that into my head." Bernie bit her lip to keep from grinning too widely when Serena pinched her forearm sharply. "No, it's a good thing, I swear. And structure can help us all."

Serena kissed the side of her neck, and she groaned with pleasure, bringing Serena's hands up to her chest, encouraging her to touch and feel. It was a bold step, since they hadn't really cleared the air fully, but it seemed the right thing to do in that moment. Slowly, Serena's hands cupped her breasts, holding on gently as she rested her cheek against Bernie's back. "I really did miss you so much, Bernie. There was a time when I didn't think that I would ever move past a place of anger and grief. But when I did, and I thought of you, I knew. I knew that we were supposed to be together, and that waiting for you would be the only option. But that hurt, too. And when you came back, it was so easy to put on a mask of indifference, but…"

"That hurt, too."

"Yes," Serena breathed out, tightening her hold on Bernie. "It's too late to start fresh. And I don't want to ignore the precious memories we made before Kiev."

"That's why I didn't want you to massage me earlier," Bernie said in a rush, knowing that the time for complete honesty was here. "I didn't want to color my memories of our first massage. I should have told you that straight out, but a part of me was afraid."

"Then let's just agree that we'll hold on to the best from that time and move forward from here. That's all there is to it." The matter of fact way Serena said that filled Bernie's heart with warmth, since it was her Serena to the core. "Are you ready to head up to bed?"

"Um, yes. I believe you promised me a heating pad?" she asked as she slowly stretched, not wanting to lose contact with Serena. She seemed to understand, as Serena moved with her, helping her to her feet before slinging her arm around Bernie's waist, tugging her close. "Though you are a magnificent heater, my darling one."

"Oh, now we turn on the charm," Serena said as she guided her over to the stairs. "You know, we didn't think of one thing."

"What's that?"

"A change of clothes for you. Because while we are close, there are certain things I am not comfortable sharing. I mean, a blouse is fine, it's other garments that…"

"I can go one day without clean underwear. I've faced worse in the field, believe me." Serena laughed lowly as they turned at the top of the stairs. Bernie found herself strangely eager to see what Serena's room looked like, to gain new insight on her. The door opened and Bernie felt her shoulders relax as she gazed upon something that was so purely Serena that it made her heart sing.

"All right, strip down as far as you're comfortable, stretch out on the bed, and I'll be back in thirty seconds."

"I'm not planning on timing you, Ser. Take your time," Bernie replied as she slowly began to pull off her top, making her way over to the bed as she unzipped her jeans and pushed them down her legs, knowing that Serena was still watching her. She could feel the woman's gaze on her back, and that thought filled her with more desire than she had ever experienced with Marcus. Gazing over her shoulder, she took in the deep blush that colored Serena's skin down past the neckline of her blouse. "Then again, I am waiting, Ms. Campbell."

"Oh. Right." Serena shook her head as if in a daze, stumbling over to a door near the window. Bernie laughed as she stripped off her camisole and then pushed the covers back so that she could stretch out comfortably. From the feel of things, Serena had excellent taste in sheets, as the cotton fabric was cool and soft to the touch. Bernie smiled as she buried her face in the closest pillow, Serena's perfume overwhelming her senses as she breathed in deeply.

A noise from the doorway caught her attention, and she turned her head to see Serena reclining against the jamb, a pleased smile on her lips. And then Bernie dragged her gaze down from the smile to see that her soon to be lover had used the time to slip into something more comfortable, and she felt her core clench when she reached the lacy bottom of the negligee. "Do you like what you see?" she asked as she sashayed over to the bed, the heating pad in her hand.

"I rather think you know I do." Bernie's voice was husky, and she was almost certain that Serena could hear the desire there.

"Good." The wicked little smile that danced on Serena's lips nearly undid Bernie, and she bit her lip as Serena climbed onto the bed, straddling her legs as she draped the heating pad over her lower back. "I'll just need to plug this in," she murmured lowly in Bernie's ear, and it took everything in her not to focus on the way the generous swell of Serena's breasts pressed against her skin. The silk nightie did nothing to hide the fact that her nipples were hard peaks, and Bernie closed her eyes, thinking of pretty gardens and routine surgeries.

"I want you."

The words tumbled from her lips, unbidden, and she listened to the sharp breath she drew in. "And I want you. So much, but that has to wait right now. We'll leave that pad on for an hour and then see how your back feels. But we could talk until then?"

Bernie nodded and listened to Serena make a soft sound of pleasure in the back of her throat as she rolled off Bernie and stretched out beside her. Bernie turned her head to stare at Serena, taking in every detail of her face. The makeup was gone, leaving her looking fresh and more vulnerable. Snaking an arm out, she rested it around Serena's waist, letting her thumb rub up and down the curve and dip of her side. "I'm not good with staying. Marcus knew that, that's why he let me be when I was in the army. Then I came to Holby and was confronted with your friendship."

"Confronted?"  
"Yes. You were rather adamant about being a part of my life, and I adored that. Our friendship was sometimes the only thing that kept me sane some days. I was a mess there."

"You were. But you were my mess."

Bernie glanced down at Serena's lips, seeing the gentle smile there. "I didn't want to make things hard for you. And then, when you told me that you didn't want me to go, it reminded me too much of when Alex said that it wasn't enough for her. That I had to want her to stay, and, and, and, I just ran. Which hurt you desperately."

"It did. But I learned from that hurt, how to stand on my own, how to balance passion with reason, and how to cope without a piece of my heart near to me." Serena leaned in and pressed her lips to Bernie's, the kiss soft and gentle. "But my heart is whole again, now that you're near. Even if we were not seeing eye to eye, my heart was whole."

Tears clouded Bernie's eyes once more that evening, and she blinked rapidly, trying to hold them in. "You made my heart whole, too, Ser. I, I love you."

"Oh, so now you no longer just care for me?" The teasing tone in Serena's voice was exactly what Bernie needed to hear, and she nodded a little as she slid her body closer to Serena, needing the contact with her. "Well, good, because that is what I feel in my heart, too. Love, overwhelming love, and I'll tell you again, you've scared the life out of me. Those are deep feelings, ones that have burned me before in the past. But I don't want my fear to hold me back from something so infinitely precious to me, to us."

Bernie nodded as she leaned in for another kiss. "That same fear runs deep in me, too. I've screwed up in the past, and yet I've the feeling that I've stumbled into something as perfect as we can get in life. Offer me some measure of comfort, let me rest in your arms?"  
"Yes, for all eternity, yes."

Bernie nodded as she let her hand ghost down to Serena's mid-thigh, playing with the lace on the hem of the nightie. Serena's skin jumped a little at the contact, and Bernie smiled as she dragged her hand upwards, taking the fabric with her. "My back is feeling fine, Ser. But to be certain, you could always give me another massage."

The delicious tension in the room ratcheted up a notch as Serena nodded, meeting Bernie's hand on her negligee. "I think that might be for the best, Ms. Wolfe. I wouldn't want you to overextend yourself, after all." In one smooth movement, she had tugged the garment off and Bernie felt her breath being sucked from her lungs. "Breathe, Bernie. I don't want you passing out on me!"

She nodded slowly as she swallowed, unable to take her eyes of the magnificence that was Serena. "How was I ever so lucky to have someone as gorgeous as you fall in love with broken me?"

"It's cliché, but I truly believe our broken pieces fit together most perfectly." Serena sat up before stretching, causing Bernie to feel like a lecher as she watched the way her movements screamed wantonness and desire. "Bernie, we cannot have those looks in theatre. Ever."

"I know." Serena laughed before leaning in and kissing her passionately, digging her hands into Bernie's unruly curls. "I could get lost in your lips."

"I feel the same." They gazed at each other, and Bernie sat up before ringing her arms around Serena's neck. They fell into kissing each other, the heating pad forgotten as the intensity of their embrace enflamed Bernie. Somehow, though, she ended up on her back once more, gazing up at Serena as the woman straddled her and smiled. "Now, let me work out some of these kinks…"

Bernie's eyes fluttered closed as she anticipated another kiss. Instead, she felt Serena's fingers lightly touch her temple, rubbing in concentric circles and easing away some of the tension she hadn't realized she'd been storing up. Lips followed fingers, and she sighed a little as she pressed her head back into the pillow, drinking in every little kiss and caress. "Is this what it feels like to be worshipped?" she murmured as she finally opened her eyes, meeting Serena's gaze.

"I'd imagine so," she replied as she gave her a loving smile. This was a new, yet familiar, expression, and Bernie did her best to replicate it, wanting to convey that same message to her lover. "All right, from here on out, I'm moving into uncharted waters. I mean, I know what I like, so I'll try that out on you, but I won't know if I'm doing things right. Let me know, okay?"

The tender hesitation in Serena's voice endeared her even more to Bernie, and she reached out to squeeze her shoulder. "You can't fuck up sex, I promise. I love you, so anything you share with me will be loved. Okay?" Serena nodded and then started kissing her once more, the large, open mouthed, busses making Bernie's body heavy with desire.

Indolence. That was the only word to describe the feeling of Serena cupping her breasts, thumbing her nipples, loving on her chest. Bernie buried one hand in the soft sheet beneath her, the other quickly becoming entangled in Serena's silky hair as she pressed her ever so carefully down to what she wanted. Instinct seemed to take over Serena, and her lips closed around one stiffened peak, suckling with surprising strength. Little mewls and grunts of pleasure slipped from her lips, and then Serena's lips were continuing down her body, nipping, biting, sucking, as Bernie bucked her hips upwards in an effort to get closer to her.

"All right, here we go," she heard Serena whisper, and Bernie maneuvered her body so that she was half sitting up, resting her weight on her forearms as she looked at her. "What?"

"Sometimes, it's easier if you know the eyes of your beloved are watching you." Bernie licked her lips, smiling when Serena copied the move. It was such a tell, and she grinned as she lifted her hips in invitation. "Though you'll have to take those off, if you want to really get anywhere."

"Truer words." Serena's look turned shy as she hooked her thumbs into the cotton of her underwear, rolling them down her legs before tossing them to the side. "I love you."

"I trust you." Those words seemed more appropriate then, and Serena relaxed as she fitted herself between Bernie's legs. "Remember, whatever you do from love becomes perfect."

Serena dipped her head a little before leaning in and running her tongue along Bernie's labia. Her movements were quick, agile, and utterly sweet, and she opened herself more fully for her lover, wishing she could be in closer contact with her. "Serena!" she cried out as the crest of her orgasm hit her, and though every muscle in her body tensed as she reached that precipice, her back did not give one spasm, and she sighed as she flopped back against the mattress, heavy breathing filling the room.

Serena rested her head against her thigh, staring up at her apprehensively. "Was, was…?"

"Was that perfect? Yes. Come up here, darling." Bernie patted the mattress next to her, and Serena clambered to the spot, fitting her body along Bernie's, almost trying to disappear into her. "Oh, my Serena, you are delectable. And I cannot wait to reciprocate what just happened. It might have to wait a day or two, but I will show you just how much pleasure you brought me."

And then she kissed her lover deeply, tasting herself on Serena's lips. There was something so sensual about that sensation, and she growled a little as she turned onto her side fully, wrapping her long limbs around Serena, mashing their lips together as they struggled for breath and purchase. Somehow, one of her thighs slipped between Serena's, and she nipped at her lover's lower lip indelicately, tasting blood, as Serena began to grind against it, looking for relief. "I don't think I can wait a day or two, darling," she said breathlessly in Bernie's ear, her fingers scrabbling against Bernie's back as she strove for her own orgasm. Shaking her head a little, Bernie ran her hand down Serena's torso, slipping between her slick folds to find her clit, rubbing it quickly with her thumb as she fitted two fingers into her tight channel. "Oh, oh, god, Bernie, yes!" she cried out before muffling her sounds with her fist, biting down as Bernie thrust in and out, knowing how to drive her lover to the highest peak of pleasure.

Serena looked so glorious as she came, all flushed and dewy, and Bernie fell more in love with her in that moment. "So greedy, my Serena."

"Only of you and your touches. It seems they've brought me some measure of comfort today. Will that still be true in the morning?"

"Of course, Fraulein. And now that we know how to pleasure each other, that's when the fun really begins. There are so many things I want to explore with you, and experience with you." They kissed once more, and Bernie sighed as she hugged Serena close, the frenzy of their passion cooling into a pleasant afterglow.

"Well, if that just isn't the most intriguing thing I've heard of all day." Bernie nodded as Serena gave her a knowing smirk. "Whatever will you get up to with me?"

"Oh, there are so many things, Serena. Starting with the shower. After all, we'll need to get clean in the morning. Right?"

"Ooh, I like the way you think! That will be a most interesting morning. And we'll head in to work together, then, and face the rumors, whatever they might be. I love you, and I think that that will be able to get me through anything this world will throw at me." Serena nuzzled in closer before resting her head on Bernie's chest, her hand curling around her shoulder. "Would you mind pulling the covers up, though? I am finding myself freezing, even with the warmth you're giving off."

"Of course," she replied, grabbing hold of the duvet with her toes and finagling it over their legs. From there, it was easy to grab hold of it with her fingers and cocoon them with its warmth. "Are you always cold, then?"

"Sometimes I get that way. But with you in my life, I hope that will end." Bernie smiled when she felt Serena kiss the bare skin of her chest. "I set the alarm in the morning, I didn't plan on staying up late getting vigorous exercise. You'll probably hear the sound first, then, so make certain you wake me up, okay?"

"Of course. I might even wake you with a kiss, if I'm feeling so moved."

"Please, do, feel so moved." Bernie laughed as she pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Serena's head. "I'm sorry, you know that I just overflow with feelings, I know that you're more reserved than me, I hope that we can compromise in that respect." A yawn interrupted her words. "I'm going to be so very quickly domestic, and I don't want you to run from that again. Know that's where my heart is, and that I'm not trying to trap you."

"Oh, the night talk is starting now."

"I'm sorry?"

"Cameron told me about it. We reach a time of tiredness when the truth just spills from our lips, and we can't hold it back. You're rather adorable with all those words falling from your mouth. And that just makes me want to kiss you all the more, which would not serve either of us well, given our early shifts. I love you," she whispered as she breathed in deeply, familiarizing herself with Serena's scent all the more. "Now, go to sleep, we'll talk more in the morning."

"Yes, love." Another loud yawn erupted from Serena's mouth, and Bernie shivered a little as she bundled her lover closer, letting sleep pull her eyelids down, knowing that she was safe and loved in the arms of her Serena.


End file.
